lyman alpha blog

ok ok so i guess it is time for an official post. right right you are rusty, as always.

and now that i have been transformed at the subatomic level, i am ready to roll.

yeah actually i have been tossing that statement off a bit, well, shall we say . . . flippantly. but there has been a transformation.

though in truth perhaps it is always happening every day. every hour. every second.

or that is in this fluctuating emanation of identity that has at least a fairly decent illusion of continuity, there is always the opportunity for consciousness. awareness. within the ever-changing movement.

so had a blip. a look-see through the peephole of perception.

coming and going.

here and there anywhere.

and more and more and more just want to be here rather than there. here and now and in the now.

right now.

the eternal moment.

and there we are.

a transformation at the subatomic level. thanks to seeing deepak chopra a couple nights ago. on a whim.

and was utterly transfixed. transcended. transformed.

oh i had seen him before on pbs you know, and read a couple of his books. merlin, i think. and buddha. and something else. but just hadn't really heard him. not really.

really heard him in the moment.

perhaps my ego held me back and maybe i was just judging the whole deepak thang as too commercial of a phenomenon.

maybe.

can't really say why but i hadn't really gone there.

until now. right now.

and have to say, the experience was good. is good. still good. reverberating still.

there is a quote, einstein i think, who said something to the effect that you don't really understand a thing unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

and i think everybody in the packed auditorium got it. got him. gained a bit of wisdom.

he woke us all up.

explained everything so well. crystal clear. in the simplest of terms. quantum leaps.

and well he really got me thinking. and feeling. and meditating.

and no doubt a good reminder that fear creates the greatest amount of suffering.

a friend of mine says that there always has to be an element of fear, or else there would be no growth. she says that when you feel fear, you're facing something new and there's more to learn. facing the fear is when growth takes place.

well maybe.

but then, does that imply, that fearlessness leaves no room for growth?

and if they say the choice is between love or fear, are we choosing love out of fear of fear?

maybe the choice is really between awareness and ignorance.

for how do we see it all without judging? how do we accept what is and still operate with a sense of purpose?

what act doesn't arise from desire? how is being even possible without a sense of assertive existence? what could be done without a ripple effect?

and so what is not karma?

this life feels so greedy sometimes. the senses seem limitless in their drive to gratify themselves.

there is an innate drive for experience. for learning. for becoming. for growth.

each exhale gives off the waste of this body. each inhale takes in life.

every step propels us forward.

every word leaves an imprint.

samskaras.

every second holds information.

each perception is formed through focus.

volition.

it feels as though all organic existence is composed of intention.

a choice, a will, an assertion of being.

propelling itself, apparently, into time. an expression of linear perception.

desire.

to be. to experience. to see.

and thus we go onward. striving. struggling. suffering.

but all we really need to do is surrender to the moment. as ram das would say, be here now.

and so deepak tells us about his training as a doctor, working in emergency rooms, living as an adrenalin junkie. the medical profession fixing people but nobody is being healed. and he sees it all and recognizes it for what is and he offers it up and he now he takes a vow of ahimsa and encourages us to as well and thus to me becomes yet another superhero in my pantheon of bodhisatva teachers who continue to delight and enlighten me.

and i feel so very fortunate.

so many reminders. so much love. so much compassionate wisdom availble if we only bother to dip a toe in and test the water of the great sea of possibility.

quantum leaping hopping skipping jumping whirling dancing.

you put your right foot in and you shake it all about.

yeah that's what it's all about.